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Inertia

In the twilight of life,
at the turning point
upon the hill of habit,
shall I descend the other side,
or garner my wings and fly?

Having not remembered my Creator,

until the days of my youth were past,

I am caught midway in the flight of fancy

by a torrent of wind that creates resistance

to change, even for the betterment of my soul,

as I make an effort everyday to find my way.

~~~~~ ~~~~~

Teshuvah, the all embracing, ever pervasive remedy

seems sometimes so far out of my reach,

and unless I gather my strengths together,

to teach myself how to fly,

I will reside in the shadows of my past,

consumed by regret, plagued by unrealized dreams,

crushed by the heaviness of being,

and defeated by the lethargy of inactivity.

Ordinariness

Ordinariness is plain and simple, calm and pleasant, placid and unperturbable. “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there; if I make my bed in hell, thou art there” (Psalm 139:8). Yet, when I take a walk around the block to get some fresh air, and clear my thoughts, it seems like within the ordinariness, G-d is present everywhere.

Lost and Found

Over the years,

beyond the tears,

the sweetness of life,

was replaced with strife.

Lost amongst the waves

that wash up on the shore,

and recede back into the deep,

until the grace of G-d

was bestowed upon me.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

A second chance,

given at the cost of leaving

everything behind me,

for the sake of renewal –

amazing in and of itself,

to reflect on this opportunity,

an open door into eternity.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

My vision restored,

after years of searching,

my heart renewed,

upon learning the truth.

My soul embraced

by a divine friendship,

and my faith in G-d above

blessed by His servants on earth.*

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

*inspired by the hymn, Amazing Grace

Ashen Fallout

“Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the L-rd, who am but dust and ashes.” – Genesis 18:27, JPS 1917 Tanach

Will you neglect

to protect the innocent,

in the chaos that will ensue

upon the earth,

when the clouds block out

the sunlight across the globe?

The unrepentant have their due;

guard the ones who call upon you

when the ashes begin to fall.

Solitude

They’re all trying to rule, direct, and guide

While I’m trying to bide my time and find

The freedom within in order to blossom

As a human being without chagrin.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Falling prey to the sway of the rhyme

Of someone else’s poetic construction,

People pleasing was never something

That I thought to be guilty of until now.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

All I want,

is to be left alone with my thoughts

During the week, when time passes slowly,

In a self imposed fragile solitude

That is founded upon the solace

Present in a welcome isolation

From the world.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Yes, truth be told, that is to say,

Within the confines, originally imposed

Upon the world due to the coronavirus,

I am flourishing as an introvert.

Being mostly socially inept,

Anyway, this is where I belong,

And have already found

my new normal.

Silent Reminiscence

Abandoned by all that was once familiar,

shattered by the deception of calculated lies,

torn, by the dissolution of a friendship,

and the realizations that progressively lead

to disillusion, freedom, and renewal.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

A flight to sanctuary, two thousand miles away

from everything I knew that seemed to be real;

yet, was proved eventually under scrutiny

to be a house constructed of playing cards.

A seemingly random shuffle dealt a new hand,

that offered a perspective unimagined on the frontier

of a land, unexplored, ripe with potential and possibility.

Restoration

Desire, banished into the wind;
and, the shadows of the enemy,
vanquished upon the earliest rays
of sunlight at dawn.

That the truth may be upheld,
in all of its splendor and glory;
and emunah restore the confidence,
that slipped away in the night.

This is the derech of the pious:
to enlighten the eyes of others,
even while facing challenges;
looking toward chayei olam.

Lech Lecha

Abraham left behind him,
country, home, and kin,
to heed the call of a lifetime,
and seek what he needed to find,
instead of simply blending in.

Promised to be divinely blessed,
he was continuously put to the test;
and, passing challenges with flying colors,
surpassed all grief and dolor,
turning away from sin.

Yes, Abraham paved the way towards G-d,
so that his descendants might be sound,
in their mind, body, and spiritual endeavors,
and the nations also securely tethered
to the One who calls all to Him.