I am waiting for an upgrade on my soul;
I am unable to improve of my own accord.
I lack the perspective of my forefathers,
who diligently climbed the ladder of Jacob.
Yet, here, I falter every day, as if
I can never get past the first rung.
Imagine what it would be like,
falling straight down the ladder,
five broken rungs at a time,
returning to where you started.
And, who will lift me up when I fall,
on the wings of the angels who climb,
night and day, up, and back down the ladder –
in order to strengthen faltering souls.
Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash
Captured by the silence,
everything intensifies, including my fears, especially when I neglect my prayers.
Only sacred words
have the power to sustain me. When my avodas is diminished, I become entrenched in the mire.
My thoughts wander,
and silence turns oppressive, until I reach into the depths of my soul for a heartfelt prayer.
With the help of the Ruach,
my words will transcend time and space, reaching out to the heavens, like sweet smelling incense.
I call out in silence,
from the depth of my soul, unto the depth of Your unfathomable wisdom.
When You respond with a nudge,
or an intuition sent from Heaven, it is done so in the silence of my heart. And, I am at Your Mercy.
Your kindnesses to me are beyond
my ability to appreciate, in all gratitude, what has been done, over the years. And, I falter for honest words, that express the essence of remorse for my negligence.
Shema – hear, listen, hearken
and understand the Word of G-d, silently reaching out in the darkness of our lives. Heed the call.
You have still
only scratched the surface, of your resistance towards a life lived, in due respect towards the Creator, and all of His creation, both animate and inanimate.
Yet, the greater challenge is
to plummet the depths of your soul, by exposing the tainted layers of neglect that must be peeled away.
Like an archaeology dig,
wherein every layer’s artifacts are carefully categorized, and stored away for further analysis. The soul is at the center, buried beneath the years of living a life unexamined, having carelessly made your way through the wilderness of childhood and young adulthood.
Let not the Adversary
steal your peace of mind, nor the benefits of prayer, so efficacious for your soul.
Set your heart upon Me;
I will set my seal upon you. A seat is reserved for you at the Wedding Banquet.
Until that time, your soul
may rest upon these promises, that you may not be compromised in body, mind, nor spirit.
May your self esteem improve,
and your soul be nourished with all the gifts from Heaven, that will be bestowed upon you in due time.
If we are bidden to sit still,
quietly awaiting for this to pass, then we acknowledge His will, and demonstrate acceptance.
Yet, if we envision our near future,
as no different than our recent past, then we have missed the point, and, have not taken the opportunity to change.
In the chaos around us,
there must be a still point, a central focus for our lives, amidst these challenges.
From that point, hope is born,
fear subsides, anxieties flee, calm permeates the air we breathe; the expectation of a new day will help us to endure.
I had forgotten about viewing
each and every headache or annoyance as a desired cross to bear in the moment.
Only desired, as a fulfillment
of G-d’s unique will for me, meant to lead towards Him.
And, these moments will add up
to an eternity of bliss and equanimity, once accepted with the grace supplied.
For no challenge, nor consequence
is too great of a burden, when we cast our vision towards Him.
Smouldering, beneath a facade
of pretension, lies the truth of the human condition.
No expectation will be met,
unless we make every effort on our own to succeed.
G-d will make up the difference:
He will bridge the gap between our weakness and His strength.
My heart is surrendered unto You.
Your Kingship, I have accepted forevermore. Your lasting value was made known to me, within a moment of eternity.
Now, in looking down from Shomayim (Heaven),
I am filled with the love that was bestowed upon me. Carry my family in the grace that was shown to me; cradle them in Your mercy until the perfect day.
Photo by Maria Krasnova on Unsplash
Like a unicorn in captivity,
I must settle down to this way of existence for a moment.
No longer free to roam,
outside of my own domain, nor, wander about in this world.
Explore the confines of silence,
rest in G-d’s protective shadow, accept my limitations.
In the Garden of Eden,
the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge was explicitly forbidden.
while sheltering in G-d’s Presence, I can make recompense for my transgressions.
And, be content, here,
as Dovid HaMelech was, like a weaned child.
Broken, yet, not defeated.
overwhelmed, not vanquished. sullen, not dejected, and although hesitant, still determined.
The L-rd will make a way,
through this sea of confusion. He will provide a path, amidst the mighty waters of these perilous times.
always seeking a balance in my approach to life, returning to homeostasis. No more a leaf in the wind; rather, a tree with roots.