Angst

Living on the edge

of the mind’s frontier,

led close to the edge

of my capacity to fear.

~~~~~

Inculcated, by his design

without a firm foothold;

nor, a steadfast ensign

to lift up so bold.

~~~~~

Rather, these meetings

between myself and he,

will inevitably singe

all my efforts “to be.”

~~~~~

Yet, a very present help in time of need,

appeared to me to lead me out

of this darkness that had encompassed me,

glistening in shimmering white.

~~~~~

He foretold of my departure,

and guided me along the way

to freedom in the midst

of existential angst.

Journey

Ancient orchards,

where flowers grew,

and fruit trees blossomed.

ancient vineyards,

where the grapes of gan eden

brought rejuvenation –

an appreciation of life,

in communion with G-d.

~~~~~ ~~~~~

These flowers are now wilted,

and the fruit is no longer sweet;

the grapes have withered,

they are become b’ushim.*

~~~~~ ~~~~~

Falling backward,

in order to move forward;

climbing higher,

to see what is below.

Walking the distance,

between past and present,

to reach the future.

*Isaiah 5:4

Ancient History Revival

Civilizations fall, others rise in their place.

We have not always inhabited the same space,

as our ancestors did, over the centuries;

thus, we do not always share the same memories.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

How can this be, that across the generations,

so much is lost to the plans of nations –

rearranging, reshaping the maps of destiny,

driving our ancestors abroad to other countries?

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Fall back to the ways of prior days in the shtetl;

there is nothing lost, and only everything to be gained.

Return to the days of yore, when our forefathers saw,

ahead of time, the desolate nature of our souls,

and the promise of renewal from Above.

Lattice

“My beloved is like a gazelle or a young hart; behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh in through the windows, he peereth through the lattice.”

– Song of Songs 2:9, JPS 1917 Tanach

The beloved peers through the lattice,

that we place between ourselves and G-d.

He wonders how to reach our souls,

so fettered with the wonders of the world.

If only he could be spotted outside

of our cluttered households,

seen through the window of our minds,

and past our preconceptions of divinity.

Make room, clear out the house

where you reside, sheltered from the Unknown.

Breathe in, the fresh outdoor air,

where the beloved waits for you.

And, together, hand in hand,

proceed to the Promised Land.

For when all is said and done

in this life, we fly with angels

to the House of the Beloved.

Stand with Me

I stand, amidst controversy,

thrive amongst subtleties,

arrange my life accordingly

to the truths that stand on their own.

Standing room only in Heaven,

when the righteous, downtrodden, and marginalized;

misunderstood, voiceless, and persecuted

will enter into their glory.

Will you stand with me?

Forgotten Possibilities

Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash

Many places, arrived at by life’s choices,

concretized in time, once a decision’s made.

A multitude of possibilities, cast aside,

in favor of the one, that changes everything.

A blanket of snow in winter, covers

all growth, that has since decayed.

Spring brings renewal to the heart and mind;

consolation to the cobwebs of the past.

Summer bears the burden of responsibility,

when all is brought to the light of truth.

In preparation for the autumn leaves,

that will fall gently to the ground.

These natural cycles are determined

by less factors than our own choices.

I was once given “a round tuit,”

a constant reminder of silence.

Called

Called, in one moment of divine inspiration,

by the One who reaches down from seventh heaven,

with His right hand, to guide the contrite of heart

to safe shores, where rest may be found

from the tumults of life that endanger the soul,

bringing light to those bound in the darkness

of the world, unable to find their way.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

I was constrained by cords of mental bonds,

trapped by the Deceiver, and secured in the lair

of the Adversary, until G-d freed me from my shackles,

appearing as my redeemer within the lion’s den,

where I would have been torn, rendered into pieces,

had He not shown me a way out of the arena,

and brought me to safety, after crossing the sea.

Silence of the Pearl

Focused on my own comfort,

like an oyster, easily irritated

by a grain of sand in its home,

I seek to minimize the pain.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

The many coatings of calcium carbonate,

secreted as a self-defense mechanism,

create a shiny lustrous pearl, treasured

by the human aesthetic appreciation.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Shall this not serve as a lesson,

for myself, and others as well,

who can transform sorrow into joy,

suffering into divine silence?

Still Waiting

"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."

– Psalm 126:5

Weighed down by my cares,
troubled by the ways of the world;
the only recourse is to shape
myself from within this swirl
of emotions both dark and light,
by resting my gaze upon the Creator.

To be a light unto others,
as much as humanly possible
even while my own flame
is flickering in the wind,
with hardly enough glow
to light the path home.

To be lifted up upon eagles wings,
to have my soul refueled from Above,
to cross the narrow bridge of life,
in fear and trepidation of every step
along the way to freedom.

Is this the way that I imagined?
Is this the life that I expected?
Once becoming a new person,
upon committing my life to G-d?
Yet, I do not speak of joy in this life;
for, surely, I can wait for Olam Haba.