where flowers grew,
and fruit trees blossomed.
where the grapes of gan eden
brought rejuvenation –
an appreciation of life,
in communion with G-d.
These flowers are now wilted,
and the fruit is no longer sweet;
the grapes have withered,
they are become b’ushim.*
in order to move forward;
to see what is below.
Walking the distance,
between past and present,
to reach the future.
Am I on the derech (path),
or have I not even begun the journey?
If I have already taken that first step;
then, why do I feel stuck in the mire?
The adage, there are no shortcuts
in life, seems to be ingrained in me;
yet, too often, I miss the moment,
distracted by my surroundings.
I do not know where to start,
in order to begin anew; perhaps,
by humbling myself to the L-rd,
for the penitent man kneels.
In this manner, redemption calls,
every day, at the first rays of dawn;
when inclined to hear His voice,
the soul will be refreshed.
For the journey has begun,
despite my misgivings;
only there has been as a test,
stumbling blocks on the way.
Renewal is possible through teshuvah;
the past can be redeemed. Like flowers
that wilt in due time after blooming –
their beauty is not forgotten.
The Talmud goes so far as to say
that past sins can be changed into merits;
yet, this is purely figurative language,
that speaks of a profound change.
Like the metamorphosis
of a caterpillar into a butterfly;
the barren ground of the past,
may spring up anew.
Paradise is lost,
the way, now guarded
by cherubim, after the fall.
Adam, sees their flaming swords,
as the angels guard the way
to the eitz chayim – tree of life.
Mankind stumbles in the darkness,
searches elsewhere for a way to return.
A soul, satiated,
not with the pleasures of the world,
nor the intoxication of life;
rather, content with the taste
of love from Above,
no longer running in haste,
away from His treasure trove.
A mind, relaxed,
permitting everything to unfold,
without succumbing to strife;
passing opportunities by,
in favor of the everlasting;
for the time of reckoning is nigh,
when all accounts will be settled.
Yet, everyday I regress,
falling close to the abyss;
climbing under constant duress,
this life’s empty promises of bliss.
Is there no other recourse, to escape
the fate that awaits? Through teshuvah,
receive me back into Your grace.